Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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