dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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