I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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