i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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