dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
don't judge my taste in strippers
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize