could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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