i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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