just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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