if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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