Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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