someone get that fucking seahorse.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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