So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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