i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
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quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
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He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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