Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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