All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize