She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize