My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize