it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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