while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
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You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
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Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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