I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
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I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
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Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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