I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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