Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
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I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
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You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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