I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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