My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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