New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
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What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
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The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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