Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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