apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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