you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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