Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize