Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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