benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize