His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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