i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Barsexuality is the new black.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize