he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
false alarm. still invincible.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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