she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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