he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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