In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
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There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
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He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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