Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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