we made out on top of his cat.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize