i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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