Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize