there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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