Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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