remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize