The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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