Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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