This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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