Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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