best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize