So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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